On revising...

I've been a bit mute lately with regard to the writing. I used to blather on about status and such, but suddenly it feels like I have nothing to say. All my writing-related energy is being poured into the revision. Well, trickled in, maybe--drip by drip.

Can I just say...Writing is hard. This is a revelation for me. I used to just sit down and pound out words. Whatever came to mind. The story would just flow from my fingers and when I ran out of time, I'd save and come back the next day. Now, not so much.

Rewriting is another animal completely. For every three scenes I write, at least one gets deleted. Sometimes all three. There are decisions to be made daily, hourly even. Where do I want to take the story? Am I telling the truth? I sometime feel myself holding back, afraid to offend. That has to stop. In real life I do my best not to offend. But in the writing, I have to remind myself that truth is key. I can't pull any punches.

I hope this somehow signifies growth. The choices representing my writing mind expanding to see alternatives to every action within the story. Otherwise, I might just lose my marbles. Either way, I will finish. The story deserves that.

Skin is already better than it was. I know this. I also know it can still be improved. And that's just the first 40K words that I've already rewritten. Here's hoping the last half of the story comes pounding out of me.

I want it to take my breath away. I want it to make me cry. And not out of frustration. I want to give this little story wings.

Now back to it.

Any Kindle users out there?

I totally understand now. I remember reading about the Kindle and thinking, "Sounds pretty cool, but how can the screen look like paper?"

I understand.

Wow.

The boys in my life totally tricked me, planting fake clues and slip-ups. "Mama, would you like a red notebook for Mothers' Day?" Followed by, "Oops, it's a secret."

Little connivers. :)

So Kindle 2 now lives in a red leather case and I'm loving it. But let me tell you...dangerous. One click and POOF! new book. Scary dangerous. I'm half through The Graveyard Book as I type.

So yes, I'm a spoiled Mommy. Now I just need to get my own WIP on there so I'm completely portable. Yay!

Happy Belated Mother's Day to all the mamas in the house.

Sleep, glorious sleep

I have to tell you--I think I'm turning back into a teenager. How such a thing is possible? I do not know. Maybe it's the fact that I am in the midst of an angst-inducing rewrite of the YA novel I've been dreaming about for years. Or maybe it's the fact that all new novels to enter my home are geared at an audience 18 and under. Either way, it seems the teenager in me has reared her head. Or...not so much reared, more like collapsed--right onto that fluffy down pillow. I can not (do you hear me?) CAN NOT seem to get enough sleep. Ever.

If I sleep 8 hours, I think to myself, "Self, today you will write when the wee child is napping." And self responds, "Oh yes, you are so right. Today we write."

Skip ahead 5-6 hours. The conversation goes more like this:

"Self?"
Snore
Yawn. "Um...self?"
Snore
"Oh, why not." snore

In an effort to fool ole self, I have tried the old 5Am rise and shine maneuver. Get up early, nap later. Used to work. I love to write in the AM. It is by far my most creative time. So the alarm blares and what do you know?

Twack! Old Self is not fooled. I smack that alarm clock into submission, only rising when the wee lad starts his morning hollering.

You see, sleep calls to me. It beacons. When I wake in the morning, my first thought is when I can sleep again. Sick, I know.

I think it's my house. I think my walls are stuffed with sleepy-time tea or something.

So excuse the yawns and the unintelligible comments that may show up on your blogs. You never know, I just might be sleep-blogging.

Nighty-night.

This gives me goosebumps

Youtube has disabled embedding, but this is definitely worth the click.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk

Absolutely stunning. I am so very inspired by her. Just the motivation I needed today.

Enjoy, and...

Dream big!

Rewriting, it's like writing. Right?

Ha! I never imagined this rewrite would be so difficult. Don't get me wrong, I didn't expect it to be easy, but changing the story has turned out to be a giant puzzle. I'm still not sure I have all the pieces.

I started off quick, burning through 1K words a day, sometimes more. That lasted for 25 days. Exactly. Then I got stuck. The story wouldn't go on. So I stopped. Recollected. Rethought. And started over, again.

Now I'm back at 30K, and a part of me is afraid that this is just the point in the story where I'm destined to struggle. But I'm okay with struggling, as long as the story moves forward. Funny thing, I'm staring at the same scene as before. Maybe it's the problem.

This is a pivotal scene in one of the subplots. I think that's what's hanging me up. But I've learned not to push through unless I'm sure what's next. So it'll be a day or two of heavy thinking. The plot board might even be in order. ;)

So that's it in a nutshell. My writing thus far this year. Slow going, but ultimately worth it. (I hope.) I must say, I'm loving the new direction of the story.

Write on, friends!

Two months

Two months of no posts. I'd have to say I have not managed to drag myself out of my blog malaise. I think about posting, then don't. I read all your feeds via bloglines, but forget to head over and comment. My brain is stuck inside my novel and I pretty much feel like I don't have anything else to say once I pull myself back into the real world.

I will try harder. But be forewarned. I may bore the life out of you.

Lost is Back

DUDE! It's so good. I love it. I can't wait for next week, and the next, and the next.

Love. Ah.

As storytellers go, these dudes are awesome.

A little anatomy lesson

I had to take the car into the shop today. Fun, fun. The little man came along. All went according to plan until it was time to leave.

Suddenly, sweet little child of mine felt the need to do a little sharing with the service advisor.

"Mama don't have penis."

Good Lord. How do you respond to that? Is there an appropriate comeback?

The poor man just stared. I shrugged, stuck a complimentary cookie in the offending mouth. Finally, words seemed necessary. I shrugged again. "I'm the only girl in the house."

I don't think the man said another word. Stunned into silence by a two-year-old. All I can hope is that he misunderstood the critical word. Coming from the mouth of my babe, it does tend to sound like peanuts.

Flirting with present tense

The rewrite has hit a snag. False starts have sucked thousands of words from me. I’m not capturing enough of my main character. I want to feel her in the words, to know I’m doing her story justice and not just reciting events.

Each time I feel like I’m close, it stalls. I turn back to earlier drafts and wonder if I can replicate their power. But I don’t want to copy what has already been written. I want to write it fresh. Better. Ratchet up the intensity.

When I feel her voice coming through me it inevitably comes out in the present tense. Not surprising as I like to let myself go, as though she is speaking to me in my head.

Present tense. I've struggled with this in the past. Have put aside story ideas because they refused to emerge in anything but the present tense. Not that I have anything against the present. I've actually grown accustomed to it in my devouring of the young adult genre. But I’m not sure I can pull it off over an entire novel. And there is nothing worse than poorly executed present tense.

Ugh. I’m struggling here. I have a couple different starts that could work. They’re so similar anyone else would hardly notice the difference. But my new philosophy of making every word count is keeping me from choosing and moving on.

One is present. One is past. Which to choose?

Part of me thinks I should run with the present tense. Give it a go. It could add intensity and urgency to the story. It could raise the stakes. We’re talking a thriller after all. But I still hesitate. It’s outside my comfort zone.

Okay, I’m getting back to it. I’ll give past tense one more shot. If it can’t hold my interest, I’ll have a go at present.

Any thoughts? Advice? Forehead smacks? I’m all ears.

2009

A new year. Holy crap! Sneaks up on me every December. I wish I could say that with the new year I was starting a new book, but alas it is not so. But don't feel too sorry for me. I am about to tackle a major rewrite of Skin. So in a way, it is a new book.

I've been thinking through the plot for the past month. No writing, just thinking. The past few days have been filled with note cards. Plot points here, plot points there. Heck, I have plot points everywhere! But it has been good. I'm excited. I'm streamlining the main plot and cutting out a couple of the subplots that didn't add enough to the story. The great thing about that is they were my least favorite parts to write. So now I get to put in a ton of new scenes about the story I really want to tell. (If I'd only known it in the beginning.)

Now this does mean a significant amount of research, but I think I'm up for it. It's a new year and all. And...I just took a trip to the area I'm writing about so the setting is fresh in my mind and on my camera. Hooray!

So that's what I'm looking forward to in the coming months. Now I just need to get back in the habit of rising before the sun to write in peace. Oh I'm going to miss that sleep. ;)

I'm not really one for resolutions, never have been. But I will venture one out there. I will post to the blog MUCH more frequently than last year. Yes, I know, I am a blog-slacker. My apologies to the two of you who faithfully check in on me. (waves) I'm glad to have you. So look forward to more to come. Some writing stuff, some random stuff, and some other things I have yet to discover.

Until then.

Ciao!